"Finicky" means very hard to please. "Finick" means someone like me, who is very hard to please.

Friday, January 27, 2017

Three Reasons Why I Hate Sprint

For several years, I had cellphone service from Sprint. There were some big gaps in their coverage, so I switched to another carrier. I'm not sure why, but at the end of my Sprint contract, they owed me $14.

Each month, for about a year, they paid a few bucks to generate and mail a statement to tell me they owed me $14. Each month I called and asked them to mail me a check. Each month they said they would. And each month they didn't. One Sprint customer service guy said he would send me a personal check for $14 just to get rid of me... but of course the money never came.

Eventually, Sprint opened a store in my neighborhood, and I called the manager and explained my situation. He offered to pay me the $14 from his petty cash account. When I got to the store 15 minutes later, he said he found out that he was not allowed to pay me the money, but Sprint would credit the $14 to my first bill if I became a Sprint customer again.

I didn't re-enlist, and I never got paid. Sprint stockholders, however, should be pleased to know that their company is no longer wasting money to mail me statements to remind me of the money they owe me.

I once went into a Sprint store to get a loose cellphone antenna fixed. The technician opened the phone, and said I was due for a firmware update, which would take about an hour. I went to lunch, and came back an hour later. The technician apologized that the phone wasn't ready, and said it would take another 15 minutes. After 15 minutes, he said it could take another 30 minutes.

I needed to take a leak, and asked where the men's room was. The technician said that the Sprint restrooms were for Sprint employees only; and if I need to pee, I should go back to the restaurant. I calmly explained that Sprint had already delayed me by over an hour, to do work I had not requested, and there was no end in sight, and they should let me use their facilities, and that I would not steal their toilet paper.

I spotted the john, and started walking toward it. At this point, a large man yelled at me to stop. He ran toward me, and stood in front of me with arms crossed, and said that if I tried to use the Sprint toilet, he would have me arrested for trespassing!

I calmly explained that there was no need to call the police, because if he did not want me to use their toilet, I was perfectly willing to drop my pants and piss on their carpeting; and I started to un-buckle my belt.

He moved out of my way and let me use the john.


A few years ago, I was rejected for a credit card, despite what I thought was a perfect credit record. I got copies of my reports, and found that Receivables Performance Management was trying to collect $1237 that I allegedly owed to Sprint.

After some digging, I learned that Sprint apparently merged my former cellphone account with the account of someone else with the same name, who lived in Arlington, Texas. They even caused the Trans Union credit bureau to change my address from Connecticut to Texas.

I called the collection agency, and explained that I did not respond to the dunning letters they mailed to Texas, because I lived in Connecticut. They wanted me to prove that I never lived in Texas (It is, of course, impossible to prove a negative), and they also said they would not cancel the collection effort or remove the derogatory credit report unless directed to do so by Sprint.

I called Sprint, and was told I had to fill out a "fraud kit." I explained that I thought there was merely a bookkeeping error, and I had no reason to suspect fraud. I asked if I could speak to someone in the Stupidity Dep't, but Sprint died not have one. The customer service (HAH!) rep said that I still had to complete a fraud kit, which I did. I actually did it three times, because they lost the first two. Ultimately, Sprint accepted the fact that I had never lived in Texas, but they said they would not remove the bad credit report because it was filed by the collection agency—not by Sprint.

Eventually, the collection agency removed the bad report, and then it came back, and then it was removed, and then it came back, and then it was removed, and then I stopped checking.

I'm not sure what the current status is. But one thing I am sure of, is that I would gladly use smoke signals or semaphore flags or yell really really LOUD, rather than use Sprint.

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