"Finicky" means very hard to please. "Finick" means someone like me, who is very hard to please.

Sunday, February 26, 2017

FUCK YOU, LOOP-LOC. Deceptive pool cover maker Loop-Loc wants me to have a pet elephant, not a dog.

Our pool has an odd shape. We could not get an inexpensive ready-made rectangular cover for it. We needed an expensive, custom-made cover. When the pool was closed between swimming seasons Hunter and his friends often walked on it and lounged on it.

After a few years the cover developed a rip. This was during the winter and I could not have it removed so I temporarily taped up the rip and the tape held until the cover was removed in May. Then I had the cover shipped back to Loop-Loc, the manufacturer.

Loop-Loc advertises that it makes “the only mesh safety pool cover proven strong and tough enough to support an elephant.”

Hunter weighed about 70 pounds at the time. That’s much less than the elephant in the misleading, deceptive, disingenuous Loop-Loc promotional video so I assumed there’d be no trouble getting a repair under the warranty.

Surprisingly, Loop-Loc denied warranty coverage, pointing out that the cover is not warranted against “any damage caused by animals (horses, deer, dogs, mice, etc.).”

I asked about the elephant and was snottily told that elephants don’t have toenails like dogs do and that if my dog was going to go on the pool cover he should wear soft booties. Sure. FUCK YOU, LOOP-LOC.

Lessons: (1) If you want a pet that can safely go on your pool cover, get an elephant. (2) Read and understand the fine print.

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